They're resurfacing again...why do these feelings insist?

I couldn't help but feel out of place at work yesterday. I've come to notice that many people are so disgruntled, hating their position in life. Me, the person who walks into work, usually happy, smiling...seeing so many other fellow workes disgruntled and moody. Why is it so? Happiness seems to be coming few and far between...I don't know. Regardless, it was a good day at work, going by quick. Came back home, talked to April, then went online to chat with Sarah. I feel quite happy for her...she found someone online that she has clicked very well with. She's been in a good mood for the last couple days, making me feel happy.

I talked to her on the phone briefly yesterday, for she wanted to talk to her new friend for a bit, so I said I'd call her later and we'd chat. So 2 hours went by...and I tried multiple times getting her again, but she was on the phone, so I went to bed shortly after 3 AM...but as I lay in bed, something happened. I was becoming angry, for I had started to feel something I never expected...jealousy. And as a result, anger. Anger mostly at myself for feeling that way, a feeling that I have no right to feel. However, this lingered with me, and I had a silent cry to myself...crying silently to myself to sleep. I didn't sleep too well. I know that in time, this will also pass, but for right now...it's just so hard, and it hurts.

Right now, I just want to be held, held tightly and not let go. Someone to hold me, to ease my mind.