Tragedy, tragedy--drink Pepsi!

79 years ago Monday my grandfather, Joel, was born. He's not around to see it, having passed away early last decade from diabetes and complications thereof. We'd grown apart in the last few years of his life--he didn't like my stepfather too much when my mom and he were dating; as a result, I seem to remember much of his anger and resentment pointed in my direction on a frequent basis because I had preferred my stepdad over my own biological dad. I knew why then, I just didn't know how to express it cohesively when I was a pre-teen. I know now, and can express it. I still feel that my own stepfather is ten times the father than my own dad will ever be.

Fortunately, my grandpa did make amends with my stepdad before he passed away, and since then, most of my family have come to terms with the fact that yes, my mom has married someone else, and now are at the very least, on speaking terms. I think it's what my grandpa was hoping for. So, happy birthday, Grandpa Joel. Your oldest grandson is doing well, and despite all that happened, I wish you'd been around long enough to meet my wife...I think you would have liked her. I'm happy, Grandpa...I hope you are, too.

I didn't cry at his funeral--I was still too angry at him; not just for threatening me with the use of brass knuckles, but also blaming Bob for the family's troubles.

I cried Monday night, though. Perhaps I've finally forgiven him at last, and maybe it's all hitting me now, nearly a decade after he died. He was still a loving grandpa, and I'll never forget some of the good times we had.

[/sad]

It's been a whirlwind of a month or so, or whenever I last updated this dusty thing with something meaningful that wasn't game-related or a thesis on government gobshite. So what's going on in the Life of Brian?

One of the hardest things when one works a full-time job AND goes to school is that the journey from weekend to weekend seems like SUCH a long time. I'm at Sage 4 days a week, and these studio art courses, while enjoyable (especially photography), drain you. But, if it's how I'm going to get my degree, so be it. I'm registering for next year this week, and I've run into a little bit of a roadblock. The thing is this: many of the courses that I need to take are offered in the daytime, with very few offered at night. And my boss knows this. Three semesters ago, when I returned to college, I made her aware of this. Before I was even hired, she asked me if I had plans to return to school. I said yes.

So for the first time, a scenario occurred where all the mandatory courses I could choose from took place during the day. I'd been lucky thus far--I've managed to find a mandatory course at night, and in doing so, my work schedule needed only a little adjustment. Now the only courses being offered at night this fall are studio electives--courses that are optional, and courses I don't really need to take yet. So I suggested a work schedule that worked around taking two courses in the middle of the day, which meant I'd have to actually reduce my schedule slightly--I'd lose a half a day's pay a week for the semester. That's not too big of a loss financially, one that could be absorbed over the semester.

It was turned down, partially because I've become too dependable and valuable in that office and she doesn't want to lose me, even for half a day a week; I also suspect that it was turned down because she's getting a little tired of accommodating me in my educational needs. Instead, she offered a schedule in which I'd have to take an evening elective (which, for the fall semester means either papermaking or Ceramics 1), courses I really don't wish to take right now--what I really want is to knock out my mandatory photo and drawing classes. I reminded her that it will, one semester, get to a point where there are absolutely no evening options--not even electives--and asked what will we do then. She told me that we'll deal with it when we get there.

So, I was a little annoyed, to say the least. My co-worker just got back from taking ONE MONTH OFF (she was on a cruise for all of February), but yet I can't take a half a day for a semester. As a result, I've begun to see if I can find another State job, one where I hope can be a little bit more flexible in terms of educational needs. That is one of the big problems with the Lottery--I enjoy working there, but it's such a small agency. The Lottery employs about 350, 360 people statewide--as a result, there is almost no turnover, and because it's so small, each office really just has the minimum number of people required to make it function. It means that every one of us is important--but it also means that no one else can do your job, which makes taking time off or taking day classes will be a little tricky.

So we'll see how that goes.

In other news, our friend and roommate Danielle kilinka has scored not 1, but 2 part-time jobs--she's working at Bruegger's Bagels and Eddie Bauer, both on Broadway in Saratoga, practically across the street from each other. I think it'll do good for her own self-esteem; now that she'll be making money again, she can buy stuff; we can take her into art supply stores and not feel like we're inviting temptation by taking her into places where she has absolutely no money to buy stuff with. Also, she'll be contributing to grocery money, which has seen the biggest expenditure increase.

I think April's been, little by little, adapting better to the fact that there's a third person sharing a home with us. Actually, I think we all have--there's a lot more work that needs to be done, I think--for example, I think Danielle is still unconciously thinking that we're going to demean her, belittle her, and make her feel worthless, because it's something she's been so used to when she was living with her family. As a result, anything that we say to Danielle that she sees as negative, even if it's just a joke, she immediately gets defensive and withdrawn--and there's no need for it. It kills a lot of conversations when that happens; she's not used to being in an environment where love is around.

Both April and I knew, going in, that patience was going to be needed, and for the most part, it hasn't been difficult. I think that, over time, Danielle will realize that not everyone's out to get her. Until that time, we continue to treat her with love and care.

Danielle, I know you're reading this--just remember that we love you, and there's no need to keep your shield up. Not anymore. <3 Please tell us anything that's on your mind--trust us, we're not going to put you down. (hugs)

On the photography front, some of you may have seen on my Facebook that I submitted five of my prints to the annual Photo Regional show in Troy, NY. I was told about it by my Photo professor, who thought my work was good enough to actually warrant a shot. The Photo Regional show is two parts: the first part runs from this Friday to April 10, in which on display in the Troy Atrium are all the works that were submitted. In total, there were 450 total submissions. Then, this week, the judge for this show decided on 110 images that will make it to the main Photo Regional show, which runs until May 22.

The images I submitted can be found here: Photo Regional

I am happy to say that the judge selected two of my images for inclusion into the show: Figure and Form Study, and Not On Orion's Belt. This makes me incredibly happy--my first public exhibition. So, I'll be in Troy tomorrow evening for the opening of the first part. Then I'll have to go back on April 30 for the Photo Regional reception and awards. First prize is $500; even if I don't get any award, I am perfectly happy with making it into the main show.

So there you have it, really. Work and school keep me busy--busy enough where this LJ, like most everything else when I'm in school, get neglected--I started writing this LJ post on Monday, and now it's Thursday...oy friggin' vey. However, I do have the Hudson Valley Mayfaire to look forward to right after the end of the semester, so we'll definitely be down in New Paltz and Kingston the first weekend of May.

And now, back to the drudgery that is your life.