A resounding meh.

I’m trying to find the motivation to get back to my art. I haven’t picked up my cameras at all in 2025. Haven’t done a photo shoot since last fall. Haven’t touched my piano in two and a half months. Recent major life changes (namely, my spouse no longer living with me full-time so he can be closer to his other partner and her kids) and the fresh new horrors served daily that comprise our political shitshow have landed a significant blow to my desire to create. Re-learning how to live and support myself and spending much of my days in an empty house sort of has me thinking, well, what’s the point?

Because of the new living situation, finances are now much tighter, which means my ability to travel and see friends has been significantly curtailed, and I don’t see that situation changing anytime soon barring a significant increase in my salary and re-building up my vacation time. Most of my friends are parents, which means they’re running on negative spoons and therefore unable to be social. Most of my friends are also at least an hour away, which only intensifies my feelings of isolation.

I’m hoping that changes next month – right now, I’m taking care of my spouse as he recovers from major surgery, but the second he’s able to drive again, he’s hightailing it back to Buffalo. Choir and bowling wrap up soon, so I’ll have a couple of weeknights back for several months. That’ll hopefully give me the opportunity to get out and be social, expand my circle and make new friends locally, queer friends, non-parent friends.

For now, I feel like I’m just treading water just trying to get through one day and to the next.