A clearing...

Well...I must say, this day's been crap from the get-go. I wake up to find that I've been lashed out upon, and have become a person to be despised, for the fact that I utilized a quote from someone's LJ I found offensive, and as a result, people came to my defense. One point I'd like to make: if I indeed misinterpreted that person's quote, then I am deeply and genuinely sorry, and I hope I can make it up to you. If I was right, then I still hold my ground. However, as I would come to find out shortly, the issue goes deeper than that.

I was talking to one of my friends this morning, preferring to stay and talk rather than go to my first class. A point was brought up: a few of my friends at NP have been feeling neglected as a result of me spending most of my weekend time with April. Some of you have been feeling a bit put out, feeling a bit rejected, and a bit jealous. And for that, I deeply apologize...it was never my intention to alienate you. However, hear this: do you know what it's like to live hundreds of miles away from someone you love so much? If you do, then perhaps you have forgotten. Because I lived over 300 miles away from her this past summer, it was one of the reasons why my summer was so miserable. Now, we're 120 miles apart, but even so, we can only see each other during the weekends. If we could, we'd spend all our time together, and then this wouldn't be an issue, but because we live miles apart, it's only natural for us to spend as much time with each other as we can, because we only get the chance to once a week. I never meant to alienate or ignore you, but also keep this in mind: she is my very first girlfriend. I am her very first boyfriend. We've been together 6 months as of today...but the amount of time we have physically spent with each other has been a month or two at most. To both of us, this whole being in a loving relationship of this caliber is totally new, strange, and exotic. We are giddy with love, which is of course, going to warrant the natural reaction of being with each other as much as you can. I only get to spend 3 days a week with my girlfriend, and I don't want to think that I have to spread myself thin so that everyone gets some time with me. If I could, I'd spend as much time with all of you as I possibly can, just as I did in NP.

One more perspective, and please don't think I'm blaming anyone: to those who feel put out by me not spending time with them while I'm down in NP--if you want to see me that badly, then why don't you drop me a line or an IM and make plans to drive up and get me? I'd be more than happy to pay for your gas. As you know, I don't drive, and if you can't drive and get me, then send me the $75 for a round-trip bus ticket. To come down to NP every weekend, April and I pay for it out of our cobweb-ridden pockets and our barren bank accounts, just barely managing to see each other based on the pittance we make at our respective jobs. Now, I'm free every weekend--I have no work and no classes from Friday to Sunday. I do want to spend time with you, but I don't want to spread myself so thin. I can't just give and give and give myself without you putting in an equal effort with me. Call my cell, my dorm, IM me, email me, and we'll make plans. Simple as that. I'd really like that.

Please don't think that I totally ignored your state of existance, for I never intended to do so, and I hope to those who I have made feel rejected that I can somehow make up to you, but I ask this: don't feel jealous of April...she's a wonderful person, and she has no quarrel with you.

A good friend told me that "LiveJournal can be a very dangerous thing." In this case, that person's right--I'm losing friends over what I write. Does that mean I'll stop writing what I do and censor myself? Absolutely not, but if I'm going to lose a friend, I'd much rather do so in person, rather than reading something over the Internet, where words can take on a different meaning, a different tonality.

Once again, I am sorry to all of you. Let's talk this out peacefully...I'd really like that.

--Brian

Survival of the Three'd!

The whole campus seemed to have an air of depression today...it felt so somber. The election had a major impact on morale here, and as a result of Kerry conceding, giving Bush the win, everyone seemed depressed, upset. Especially considering that the overwhelming majority here voted for Kerry, myself included. Well, it's now out of our hands, and before you go move to Canada or blow your brains out, or both, consider this: it won't solve anything. We're stuck with Bush for 4 more years, like it or not. Now, as we always have, we've adapted the situation. No different now. Ranting about it now will do NO ONE any good. All you will do is just cause further damage, and nothing will come of it. As I read the rants of my friends' LJ's today and tonight (mine included), most of them were similar, although I did find one thing that just downright pissed me off, and I'm not mentioning any names but...

"Anyone who is not a redneck, ignorant, racist, prejudiced, gun-toting PIG, you are not going to be represented for the next four years. Yeah, the people have spoken. My ass."

I'm sorry, but I take personal offense to that. I know several of those "rednecks" personally, and they just happen to be excellent people. Not every "redneck" wanted Bush to win. My best friend happens to be a "redneck," and she wanted Kerry to win. So, lay off the fucking stereotype. I've fucking had it with silly, stupid stereotypes. Not every Southerner/Midwesterner fits that description.

Bush won, deal with it. We've done it for 4 years, and we'll have another 4. He'll be gone in 4 years, replaced by someone better, equal or worse. For a similar view on this whole election debacle, I refer you to nigoki.

Anyway, on a better note, I got my dad's financial info...he could end up possibly being a co-signer for this loan. I'll punch his info in tomorrow night when I get out of work, I work 2-8. (crosses fingers) Please...please work. Also chatted with my Aunt Lisa tonight...one of the members of my family on that (shudders) side. I must admit...I do love her, and I find her to be one of the nicer of the bunch. We chatted for a half hour, all nice, kind, calm, which made me feel very happy. I may actually plan a visit there in the future...I know she wants to see a pic of April, so I will mail her one. Also talked to Dan D. tonight, first time in a while. (smiles)

Oh, and this is rich: tonight, I had my exam in Computing on...Microsoft Word. To show you how much I ripped this test apart, let me tell you some of the questions I had to deal with tonight:

For all of these questions (which are in no particular order), you are given the Microsoft Word screen, with access to all features:

Example Question 1: (you are given some text, of which a sentence is highlighted) Change the highlighted text to 36 point.
EQ 2: Using the appropriate button in the toolbar, save your document.
EQ 3: Print the current page.
EQ 4. Make a table with 5 columns, 2 rows. (which is Word's default)
EQ 5. (you're given some text, of which a paragraph is highlighted) Delete the selected text.
EQ 6. (you're given a document) Spell check the document.
EQ 7: Undo the last action.

I had 40 of these questions, the hardest ones being to make tab stops. Now you can die of laughter.

Now, MCLA has this course as REQUIRED for the English major. Considering this is a liberal arts school and most of us are computer literate, I find this a bit disappointing.

On the NaNo front, current word count: 6,004/50,000. Chapter 1 of the novel is up at nfiction.com, check out the story in progress: Dino Crisis II: Jump into the Prehistoric

On that note, sleep.

Nighty night, all.