Hypocritical Christian psycho-babble, next.

In the last post, I had mentioned that I was coached (i.e, reprimanded) for making fun of the store manager, and also following store policy.

Today, I come to find out that those are capital offenses, and am now a hair away from getting fired. With one week left to go. Today, sat in the manager's office with Alan and Laurie, and the People Manager. And was formally written up on 3 offenses:

--Lack of respect for the individual (i.e. Making fun of the store manager)
--Profanity ("lick my left nut" doesn't strike me as profane--just a sexual metaphor)
--Insubordination (following store policy)

Now, we have reached the Decision Day, or D-Day for short. Normally, an associate can fuck up 3 times before going to this final level before getting fired. Unless the offenses in question are serious enough to warrant going straight to the end. Trouble is, Wal-Mart Corporate Policy on coaching lists the offenses, but not the severity. Which means that the "weight" of the offense is entirely the coaching manager's call. Yes, you can get fired for swearing on the clock without a second thought. Doesn't matter if it's your very first infraction. Apparently they thought these minor offenses were severe enough to go right to the final stage of reprimanding. What a D-Day entails:

1) You get your next scheduled workday off, with pay.
2) You use your off-day to write up a letter explaining yourself, and what you will do to prevent those offenses from happening again. (Read: write a kiss-ass letter to Wal-Mart apologizing, you won't do it again, please don't fire me.)
3) On your next day in, you submit your "Plan of Action" as they call it, and depending on what you write, you will either be forgiven or fired.

According to April, I've got as much chance of being forgiven as the Red Sox had of winning down 3-0 in the 2004 ALCS.

So, I will write that letter, and in it, I will apologize for my little comment. Those of you who know me, I speak my mind. And when the CSM told me that the store manager says we have to do an exchange (even if there is no receipt, box, or missing components) regardless, I spoke my mind--which was a crude sexual metaphor in relation to the store manager and my left testicle. The charge of insubordination they brought up against me is bogus, because I didn't refuse a direct order. If the customer was present and the CSM told me that she was going to go over my head and override it and do the exchange, then that would've been it. I wouldn't have liked it, but there's nothing more I could do. All I did was tell the CSM that I was simply following the store policy as it's written pertaining to returned merchandise. In black and white. I'm not supposed to take back anything without a receipt or missing components. If then the customer wants to see a manager, then I call them in and pawn off the situation on them. However, if the customer acknowledges that they have missing parts and are able to get a receipt or the missing components, then leaves, the situation is over.

Still, I can't help but feel amused by all of this. I can't believe that someone would be so petty and report associates to management for tiny things like that. EVERYONE TAKES POT SHOTS AT THEIR BOSS. It doesn't justify my actions, but still. The comment was not made in anger or meant to hurt or offend anyone. It was something that just felt necessary to say.

So, either my Wal-Mart tenure ends this Friday, with me getting fired, or it ends a week from Friday, when I leave on my own terms.

Poor April, though--she's been feeling bitter and angry about this whole comical business on my behalf, even though she did nothing wrong. If I was going to be here another year, then I'd worry. With 6 shifts remaining, I don't. Really. I will write that letter and apologize for my wisecrack. Not for following store policy.

So, with my newfound 3 days off, definitely seeing Silent Hill, probably tomorrow. Anyone up for it?

All righty, Mario Baseball awaits.

Nighty night, all.