Note: as with all my religious-based rants, it's directed towards those bigoted people who enjoy oppressing people who don't agree. Open-minded people can read at their leisure.
If you live in New York and don't know it by now, our state Senate shot down civil rights for all this afternoon. Many months after the NY Assembly passed legislation allowing gay marriage, it finally had its moment for debate and a vote on the floor of the NY Senate, despite many Senators' hopes that the bill would just go away--they put it off until finally, the Governor practically forced the Senate to take up the bill.
The bill needed 32 out of 62 votes to pass. As our Senate currently consists of 32 Democrats and 30 Republicans...many, including I, were hoping that the lobbying efforts of bigoted Catholics would be for naught. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. The bill was defeated, 24-38, with all 30 Republicans voting against it, as well as 8 Democrats. Civil rights was dealt another blow, as Catholic dogma triumphed again. It seems to be these days that the Catholic Church stopped caring for people in poverty, stopped helping people who are in real need, and have turned all its resources into a unified, solid attack whose sole purpose is to prevent people who don't agree with them, from being happy.
In light of the recent events in California, Maine, and now here--especially here, where the building they held today's vote in is just 20 minutes away, I can say with complete honesty that I've never felt so ashamed...I've never felt so guilty. I feel horrible that I'm married. I feel so ashamed that April and I are enjoying the benefits and privileges of being a married couple...knowing that the only reason why society allowed us to get married was simply because I have a penis and April has a vagina. It makes me sick to my stomach, and after today's vote, I felt so overwhelmingly guilty that I have a benefit that many of my gay friends can't have, because the Catholic God says you can't...because someone who no one has ever seen says it's wrong. Because someone said in a hypocritical, incomplete Book that man and man is a sin, and you'll burn in hell.
Some of you have already told me that I shouldn't feel ashamed that I'm married, but you know what? I am. I feel sick knowing that I have something so many want and can't have, because their sexual orientation is not what we perceive as "normal." That's all this is about. It's about sex. People have get so uncomfortable thinking about one man's balls slamming into another man's ass. As a result, we make it illegal, or deny people that. The only thing I can think of is that in some quantum way, homosexuality really does throw a kink into how governments and economies work. Although, I can bet each and every one of you that those same Senators (most of them are male, so this line is for them) have NO PROBLEM seeing a girl go at it with another girl...just as long as they don't marry.
This unseen figure has such power over us, it seems. Why do Catholics feel the need to protect us from ourselves? Why do they feel so much the need to wag their fingers at us to tell us we're doomed to Hell? It's one thing to practice your religion freely, but as I've said many times, keep your religion to yourself. You can't just impose your religious beliefs on an entire group of people, yet that's exactly what we have. There is no separation of church and state.
So blind dogma wins again, bigotry reigns supreme, and gay people are once again denied marriage. ALL THEY WANT IS LOVE, AND RECOGNITION OF LOVE, DAMN IT.
Tonight, opponents of gay marriage and those 38 Senators who voted against the bill celebrate by having such great sex with the book of Genesis, or if they're really feeling horny, having an orgy with the other 65 books of the Bible, letting the book of Exodus and Deuteronomy perform cunnilingus. Maybe they're doing the 69 with Joshua, or doing the Book of Ruth doggie-style.
If they find my Bible because they've shagged out theirs, they can go into the trash and find it. I chucked it in the garbage tonight, realizing that I can't have something so hypocritical, bigoted, and painful in my residence.
My God does not discriminate. My God loves everyone equally and unconditionally.
I love each and every one of you, whether you're gay or not, black or not, heavy-set or not, religious or not... and I hope that one day, everyone will finally be treated fairly, and not denied the right to love simply because you prefer someone with the same sexual organs as you.
Funny...two months into marriage, and I'm feeling that I don't want to be married anymore...but for all the reasons that aren't socially normal.